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Celebrating our marriage by preparing my divorce

26 August 2022

“Maybe his pupils aren’t responding because of the sedation”.

My blood ran cold. I was sitting in the cardiac intensive care unit of Shaare Zedek hospital, at my husband’s bedside. Two days earlier, he had suffered a sudden cardiac arrest after a game of squash. Multiple shocks had been necessary to restart his heart during a prolonged resuscitation and he was now recuperating, still ventilated and sedated

A nurse had just shined a flashlight in Leonard’s eyes, but got no response. The nurse called for reinforcements. “Can you try?” he asked a more experienced coworker. She tried, but was unsuccessful. “Maybe his pupils aren’t responding because of the sedation,” she said. Maybe. She wasn’t sure…

Sitting at Leonard’s bedside that afternoon, in a moment when fear was stronger than hope, I found myself wondering, “Could this be the rest of my life?” What would happen if my husband remained alive, but his brain no longer functioned properly? Might I never again hear his keen insights, marvel at his compassion, and enjoy his sharp wit? Might he never again be my trusted companion, my confidante, and my source of confidence and reassurance? For the briefest of moments, there was a flash of awareness that I might never experience such companionship from anyone else either, because in Jewish law, a man who is not cognitively intact cannot grant his wife a get (a bill of Jewish divorce). In such a situation, the woman may become an agunah — a woman “chained” in marriage against her will because her husband is not able to divorce her. I banished the thought immediately and focused only on my husband’s recovery.”

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Mavoi Satum stands with Am Yisrael during this difficult time and prays for the safety of our soldiers and the quick return of all hostages. We also pray that women will not be left behind as agunot after the war.

We are doing our part to keep the homefront strong, committed to protecting women from further suffering and helping them gain freedom from marriage entrappment.

Join us in these efforts – couples can sign a halachic protective document to grant others’ power of attorney to give a get.


עיגול קטן - השפעה גדולה

בכל רכישה בכרטיס האשראי שלך יעוגל סכום הקנייה לשקל הקרוב ואותן אגורות ייתרמו למבוי סתום.
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